Enthusiastic consent is not just semantics, yes means yes. She is a popular speaker, opinion writer and author of what you really really want and unscrewed. You can give consent with words or actions, as long as those words or actions create clear permission regarding willingness to engage in the sexual activity. Describes how to set personal limits and give or deny consent. Variations of yes means yes laws have been adopted in a number of american states, including california and new york, and by an estimated 1,400 higher education institutions across the usa. Getting a yes instead of avoiding a no the standard of. Now, we have notions of enthusiastic consent and continued consent. The yes means yes philosophy is that the only valid sexual consent is enthusiastic consent. So yes means yes is about suggesting that none of us can have a complete independent sexuality a full healthy sexuality unless we have access to yes and no equally. The book has spawned a series of readings, live chats, and some interesting blog responses. It starts to slowly but surely undo all of the awkwardess of uncertainty and amps up the hotness of getting and giving. No one disputes that yes means yes barring universally agreed upon exceptions, such as the use of force, incapacitation through drugs or alcohol, failure to reach the age of consent.
Aug 11, 2016 as of january 1, 2017, high schools in california will be required by law to teach consent in high school health classes. Yes means yes laws will not actually reclassify all sex at. Tone is everything, and a meek, sarcastic, or distracted yes is not the same as a fullthroated, oh my god, yes, fuck me now, yes, yes, yes. No enthusiasm for enthusiastic consent reforms the. But the definition of consent now widely espoused by sex educatorsgenerally termed enthusiastic consentis far from universally accepted. A longstanding debate about what constitutes consent in sexual interaction has been reignited by the conversation about sexual violence on campus and elsewhere. Luckily, at this point were hopefully beyond arguing the value of consent. Given the prevalence of sexual assault, especially college campuses, those calling for the shirts removal say that its message contradicts the idea of enthusiastic consent, that yes means. An example of this is the 2016 rape case where the supreme court ruled that a sexworker cannot cryrape if her customers fail to pay her. To ask other readers questions about yes means yes. Affirmative consent isnt the answer to every students sexual anxiety, but its a core part of my response to many of them. Visions of sexual power and a world without rape and believe me.
As defined by new yorks yes means yes law, affirmative consent is. What is the feminist model of enthusiastic consent and how does it tie into yes means yes. Yes means yes aims to have radical and farreaching effects. Aug 02, 2018 variations of yes means yes laws have been adopted in a number of american states, including california and new york, and by an estimated 1,400 higher education institutions across the usa. Stresses that avoiding alcohol and drugs helps people stay safer. Sexual consent might seem like a simple thing to understand, but the continued prevalence of harassment and sexual assault tells us its anything but. Mar 26, 2017 jaclyn friedman is a feminist who is best known as the cowriter of yes means yes visions of female sexual power and a world without rape. Mar 29, 20 when you switch to the idea of affirmative or enthusiastic consent focusing on getting an unambiguous yes instead of stopping at no it changes the equation entirely. And i have always understood the enthusiastic consent issue to not just be about verbal consent. Her activism includes speaking at college campuses about rape culture and how to promote healthy sexual culture focused around enthusiastic consent hence, yes means yes. Yes means yes tells students who have trouble setting boundaries. The concept of affirmative consent dictates that yes means yes, and that only an enthusiastic yes constitutes sexual consent. Yes means yes visions of female sexual power and a. In a feminineprimary social order even affirmative consent isnt enough enthusiastic consent must now be established and maintained.
The no means no mantra of a generation ago is being eclipsed by yes means yes as more young people all over the country are told that they must have explicit permission from the object. Students are told they need an enthusiastic yes before they. Getting a yes instead of avoiding a no the good men project. Yes means yes visions of female sexual power and a world. Aug 01, 2016 always for consent even if they said yes before. Jul 05, 2015 no one disputes that yes means yes barring universally agreed upon exceptions, such as the use of force, incapacitation through drugs or alcohol, failure to reach the age of consent. Enthusiastic consent would mean that someone was excited about the sexual activity they are engaged in, says terri poore, policy director for the national alliance to end sexual violence. Only yes means yes and yes should come from an engaged and enthusiastic partner. California enacts yes means yes law, defining sexual consent. Consent is so universally championed that it often appears to be the only relevant criterion for sexual encounters. If you lean in to kiss someone and they lean in to kiss you back, thats yes.
This section looks at sexual pleasure and challenges, along with social influences on sexuality and relationships. We should instead teach yes means yes, making both parties responsible for expressing consent and understanding what consent entails. The training moves away from the mantra of no means no to a definition of affirmative consent where yes means yes. Discussion feminist approved enthusiastic affirmative consent vs pragmatic consent self. But thats why starting enthusiastic consent policies in colleges is the right, and smart, thing to do. The title refers to the popular, yes means yes affirmative consent campaign.
Now, the posters on dorm walls display an inverted, more actionoriented, version of consent. Defines the affirmative consent standard that forms the basis of some sexual assault policies. What could be more romantic than a clear and enthusiastic yes. Oct 15, 2015 the no means no mantra of a generation ago is being eclipsed by yes means yes as more young people all over the country are told that they must have explicit permission from the object. Talking about consent with kids kids books about boundaries. The planned parenthood website explains that consent is freely given not pressured, reversible can change or be taken away, informed agreed upon, enthusiastic enjoyable, and specific not all.
In the california legislature there is a list of circumstances under which what could be at fault for a sexual assault case. Oct 27, 2010 it starts to slowly but surely undo all of the awkwardess of uncertainty and amps up the hotness of getting and giving. I hopped aboard the enthusiastic consent train a year or so ago, after i was lucky enough to see jaclyn frieman talk at my university. I disagreed with some authors points while finding others persuasive and illuminating. This means being as excited and into someone elses enjoyment as we are excited and into our own enjoyment. Feb 15, 2018 a group of women at the small liberal arts school in 1991 successfully petitioned for a conductcode amendment that explicitly defined sexual consent as requiring an enthusiastic yes from. A commitment to enthusiastic consent in every sexual encounter you have is one of the biggest green dots you can earn. It also addresses not having, or wanting, sexual feelings. College students throw shade at enthusiastic sexual consent. How trusting women can change the world, the writer of unscrewed.
The book was one of the 99 publishers weekly s best books of 2009 and has inspired a sex education noncredit course at colgate university. With commentary on public sex education, pornography, mass media, yes means yes is a powerful and revolutionary anthology. Some argue that, given the nature of sexual interaction, it removes the passion from such transactions. There are lots of ways to ask for a yes, writes thomas macaulay millar at the yes means yes blog. Jun 16, 2015 college students throw shade at enthusiastic sexual consent. Affirmative consent policies differ from campus to campus but are all based on the idea that consent must be given knowingly, voluntarily and affirmatively, according to the study. Purplepilldebate submitted 11 hours ago by camowoobie0 many times when i see consent talked about by feminists, or clearly influenced by feminist dogma, such as in the context of sexual harassment training in an academic or employment setting, it seems.
Yes means yes leads to people talking about what consent really means. A group of women at the small liberal arts school in 1991 successfully petitioned for a conductcode amendment that explicitly defined sexual consent as requiring an enthusiastic yes from. Why do people hate the concept of enthusiastic consent. In just 3 years yes means yes moved off the campus and into mainstream culture. The model of yes means yes is promoted throughout, showing how enthusiastic consent can allow for the expression of desire, intimacy, vulnerability and power. Critics of the yesmeansyes model suggest it removes due process and impinges on the rights of the accused by changing the evidentiary onus. Discusses how enthusiastic consent can be part of a healthy sexual relationship. Yes means yes laws will not actually reclassify all sex at universities as rape. Affirmative consent, enthusiastic consent, and yes means yes. Apr 24, 2019 by ellie anderson when it comes to sex, public discourse today revolves around consent. Most policies favor verbal consent, but some also include enthusiastic participation in sex as a green light, it says. The book was one of publishers weeklys 99 best books of 2009 and inspired a sexual education noncredit course at colgate university. Global perspectives and key debates in sex and relationships. Where no means no suggests that, in the absence of your partner clearly objecting, you can do whatever you want, the principle of enthusiastic consent says that you shouldnt do anything that your partner isnt actively excited about or.
Jaclyn friedmans work has redefined the concept of healthy sexuality and popularized the yes means yes standard of sexual consent that is quickly becoming law on many u. Planned parenthood graphic uses fries to explain consent in a. That enthusiastic consent is a new ambiguously defined. Yes means yes is quite a radical take on the idea of sexual consent getting past the valuable, but very limited, concept of no means no to a broader idea that sex should always involve the enthusiastic consent of all the parties involved. Jan 16, 2018 enthusiastic consent turns that concept on its head only yes means yes. What you need to know about affirmative consent at. Enthusiastic consent turns that concept on its head only yes means yes. There are countless examples of yes means yes laws broadening the definition of sexual assault in a way that sacrifices fairness and balance in.
A wellcurated collections of essays about rape, abuse, and sexual consent, yes means yes contains a variety of different perspectives and voices. In short, yesmeansyes is a good start, but its not the whole story when it comes to promoting good sexual communication and healthy, happy relationships. Visions of female sexual power and a world without rape is a feminist nonfiction book edited by jaclyn friedman and jessica valenti, published in 2008. Enthusiastic consent means that agreement should be communicated clearly and consistently. Yes means yes and enthusiastic consent our bodies ourselves. Im glad i bought the book, but reading the website would be just as. Consent is a mutual verbal, physical, and emotional agreement that happens without manipulation, threats, or head games. Consent can be in the form of a smile, a nod, or a verbal yes, as long as its unambiguous and enthusiastic. Women, sex, power and how to stop letting the system screw us all and what you really really want. If, instead of lovers, the two of you were synchronized swimmers, consent would be the water. Enthusiastic consent means your partner is completely into it. Oct 14, 2015 affirmative consent isnt the answer to every students sexual anxiety, but its a core part of my response to many of them. Visions of female sexual power and a world without rape is a feminist book edited by jaclyn friedman and jessica valenti published in 2008. Mar 16, 2016 given the prevalence of sexual assault, especially college campuses, those calling for the shirts removal say that its message contradicts the idea of enthusiastic consent, that yes means.
Feminist approved enthusiastic affirmative consent vs. Now, a yes means yes and a no means no is scrutinized by patriarchal laws and more often than not, the voice of the woman is drowned. Can the tricky terrain of consent ever be reduced to a simple slogan or a. Jaclyn friedman is a feminist who is best known as the cowriter of yes means yes visions of female sexual power and a world without rape. In the process, weve forgotten that enthusiastic consent is so much. Im also currently in hte middle of the yes means yes anthology, and i consider myself a sex positive feminist. Getting a yes instead of avoiding a no the standard of enthusiastic consent getting a yes instead of avoiding a no the standard of enthusiastic consent september 19. The yes means yes law is in the step in the right direction but would lack representation in the california courts. This means that there is a clear consent issue in this culture, and enthusiastic consent is one way to help fix some of that problem. Teachers will explain the yes means yes policy, where both parties have.
It is not just a verbal yes or no it involves paying attention to your partner as a person and checking in with physical and emotional cues as well. Project respect brings together youth and adults to work together to create awareness and dialogue about sexualized violence by encouraging critical thinking about root causes such as gender expectations and stereotypes, imbalances and abuses of power, and the ongoing colonization of the lands and the systems we live in. Where no means no suggests that, in the absence of your partner clearly objecting, you can do whatever you want, the principle of enthusiastic consent says that you shouldnt do anything that your partner isnt actively excited about or at least excited to try. The book was one of publishers weeklys 99 best books of 2009 and.
Its the idea that while no means no is important, getting a yes is even more important. So if youre headed to college and intend to hook up, keep the following guidelines in mind. The anthology yes means yes brings together writers, male and female, to explore the power of enthusiastic consent and to promote female desire free of coercion. Yes means yes enthusiastic consent is fairly simple. When you switch to the idea of affirmative or enthusiastic consent focusing on getting an unambiguous yes instead of stopping at no it changes the equation entirely. Encourages healthy communication around sexual relationships.
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